Write a Quick Christmas Letter

Christmas is a demanding, stressful time. Kim Peckham suggests one jolly quick way to make it easier.

Who came up with the idea of sending Christmas letters? Is it possible that this individual didn’t have enough to do during the holidays?

I’m trying to imagine someone saying, “I’ve gone shopping, hosted the office party, decorated the tree, attended the school play, practised for the church pageant, and baked biscuits for the boss. I might as well send 50 letters to people I haven’t seen since the days of polyester pants-suits.”

Well, let us not be distracted by our feelings of resentment toward this person. He or she will be dealt with on judgment day. For now our task is to write a Christmas letter as quickly and easily as possible.

Follow this handy template—a permanent Christmas letter—and you can dash one off in the time it takes most people to remember which verse comes after “10 lords a-leaping.”

Part A: The Salutation
If you plan to photocopy your letter, it’s best to go with a generic greeting such as “Dear Friends” or “Dear Sentient Being.” Creative people are able to come up with a single greeting that captures their sentiments about all the people on their mailing list. One example might be “Dear snobs who never gave me the respect I deserved until I married a neurosurgeon.”

Part B: The Opening
Always begin with the words, “I can’t believe how quickly this year has passed.” Then give the reason that time has passed so swiftly (without making contact), such as “We’ve been so busy on our ranch” or “I was in a coma for eight months.”

Part C: News and Accomplishments
As I see it, there are two types of people on your mailing list. First, there are those who love you and rejoice in your successes (your mother). Then there are those who feel threatened by your achievements and would like to see you brought down a notch (everybody else).

So rest assured that you’re not pleasing the majority of your readers when you throw a line like this in your letter: “Herb’s business has doubled in the past year, and you would laugh to see the crazy ideas our tax accountant comes up with to hide our staggering income.”

No, if you really want to hold your readers’ attention, write, “You should see how much weight Herb has put on. I took one of his suits to the cleaner last week, and they said, ‘We don’t do curtains.’”

Part D: The Kids
This is where you brag about your children. Take a few sentences to list their accomplishments. Perhaps Jennifer graduated from dental school. Or maybe Earl, Jr, was granted early parole. Obviously, this part of the letter will vary from child to child.

Part E: The Invitation
As you near the end of the letter, it is appropriate to invite your readers to visit you if they’re ever in your area. Now, I always wish this part of the letter were more specific. Is it an invitation to stay overnight? How big is the bed in their guest room? Do they accept pets? Do they get cable?

On our Christmas letters this year I intend to come right out and say that we have a three-night maximum stay—four nights if the guests are willing to do some light yard work.

Of course, we’d much rather our friends and kinfolk visit instead of just sending a letter, but they live too far away. So a letter is the best way to be known and remembered and understood by these special people.

Perhaps our spiritual distance from God is the reason we hardly ever hear from Him except in letters. But fortunately, we have the Bible as evidence that God also wants to be known and remembered and understood.

Reprinted, with permission, from Women of Spirit.

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