Oversensitive

Q: People tell me I’m oversensitive. They say I take things the wrong way and get angry because I imagine others have it in for me. When somebody criticises me or lets me down, I’m told I get very defensive and resentful. The trouble is I’m not really happy nor do I feel good about myself. Does anybody else feel like this, or am I the only one?

A: Feelings of rejection are common enough, but they don’t have to dominate your life. There are ways of dealing with them. First, understand that rejection is a syndrome with several symptoms. These include:
Expecting to be rejected rather than accepted by others;
Believing there is more reason for people to reject than to accept you;
Setting yourself up for rejection through inappropriate behaviour; and,
Struggling with low self-worth because you are convinced you are of less value than others.
It is probably true that you have learned to think this way about yourself because of a crucial relationship that has failed to endorse your intrinsic worth and has led you to believe you are not acceptable.
People commonly cope with this lack by lashing out in anger, looking for ways of hurting to match the hurt they have experienced, competing to establish a better position for themselves or by becoming a control freak. None of this wins respect or friendship.
Better to recognise that the problem lies within your own perceptions and begin to address it by believing you are as acceptable as anyone else. This includes knowing you are just as smart, attractive, competent and desirable as other people. Once you’ve learned self-acceptance, it will be easier to stop rejecting others and to treat them with respect and courtesy.
Remember, there is no real reason to be self-rejecting when God fully accepts you. After all, He died so you might live forever with Him. If that isn’t full acceptance, I’d like to know what is.
“But God has shown us how much he loves us—it was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us!” (Romans 5:8 TEV).