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Signs of the Times Australia / NZ edition — lifestyle, health, relationships, culture, spirituality, people — published since 1886 |
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Signs of the Times Australia / NZ edition — lifestyle, health, relationships, culture, spirituality, people — published since 1886 |
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Q: I can’t stop worrying. I’ve tried forgetting about the problems I see. I’ve worked on looking for good outcomes and tried not to dwell on potential difficulties, but none of that works. Am I doomed to be a worrier for the rest of my life?
A: The good news is that worry can be fixed, but not without some personal effort.
Most of us learn how to worry from a parent who is expert at it. Over the years we learn the thought patterns that harden into solid habit.
By the time we’ve grown up, we ourselves have become very good at worrying. Unless we choose to shed it, we can be worriers for the rest of our lives.
Because worry has its own set of benefits, we don’t easily give it up. Worriers aren’t surprised when things go wrong. They anticipate this so as not to be shocked or disappointed. Worry protects them from being unprepared.
They might even have a set of contingency plans to meet calamity when it comes. If they have worried enough, they might be mentally ready for the worst so they will be less vulnerable. The worrier avoids risk, for risk might bring disaster, even though it also promises success. In all this, they have created their own crippling security.
To weaken the grip of worry, you should begin by doubting its dubious benefits. Invest your energy in good planning instead.
Once your plans are complete, believe in them and refuse to recycle them along with the worry that they might not succeed.
Don’t project mistakes from the past into an untried future. Rather, use these as lessons for the present.
Jesus said that the best antidote to worry is faith: “Seek first [God’s] kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry” (Matthew 6:33, 34), He said.
Extract from Signs of the Times, September 2003.
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