A Bully Repents

Signs talks to a reformed, self-confessed bully about his remarkable turnaround to Christianity.

While growing up in New Zealand, Kevin got caught up in what he terms the “darker side of life” and “the wrong crowd,” a process that began when, as an 11-year-old, he says, an incident triggered a loss of respect for and trust in his father.

From that time on, Kevin became rebellious, finding solace in heavy-metal music and biker magazines. At age 16 he left home and school, working as a carpenter during the day and living as a bikie gang member at night. He boozed, stole and dealt drugs—an “irresponsible life,” he admits, and took revenge for his earlier life by provoking his father, enjoying seeing him angry.

Members of his bikie gang, the Dachau’s Disciples, would challenge each other to feats, which they called “acts of class.” They might ride down a city footpath on a busy Friday night, weaving between pedestrians and doing “wheelies,” for example. Only later did it dawn on Kevin that it was probably such antisocial behaviour that caused his father to lose a campaign for mayor.

After being pushed around and beaten up in a brawl with another biker, Kevin felt he needed “an advantage,” so he took up karate. “I used my karate-inspired confidence to make people pay bills of a drug nature, and people would ask me to do that. I was a tormentor when it came to collecting drug debts; I could drop someone quickly—I used my confidence to bully others as well,” Kevin confides.

In his work as a bouncer. Kevin was tough, but trying to escape the downward spiral of drug- and alcohol-induced self-destruction, was an effort. Eventually, in an effort to avoid police and bikies tracking him, he was forced to leave town—and New Zealand.

He moved to Australia and found work in NSW where a workmate invited him to a “free meal” and men’s fellowship. Kevin sat through the meeting of about 25 men, following which he joined them for what he’d come for—the meal—when something happened that changed his life forever, in a moment. It was an experience he likens to that of the biblical Saul, who became Paul, who was struck blind on the road to Damascus.

“I was sitting at the table, and this guy says, ‘Let’s all have a word of prayer.’ Inwardly groaning, I stared into space. “Then the man said, ‘If you want to give your heart to Jesus, put your hand up.’
“I thought, I’m the only one here who hasn’t. And there’s no way I’m going to.
“Suddenly, I heard this voice in my head say, ‘Put up your hand, Kevin.’
“No way! I thought.
“The next I knew, I was looking at my hand in the air, and I’m going, ‘Oh, [expletive] . . . !’
“Unfazed by my response, the minister who had been praying asked me to come up and recite a prayer with him. While he clasped my hands, I had my eyes closed. Suddenly, in my mind’s eye, I was among a huge crowd. The crowd parted and I could see a Man coming toward me, completely naked, with a piece of wood across His shoulders. I didn’t know who it was. As He came toward me, I could see His whole body was ripped to shreds, a bloody pulp. It was horrific.

“I was a violent person, but I was shocked at this vision. Then a hand reached out from the crowd and ripped off His cheek, exposing His teeth and gums. I can still see the beard and torn flesh in the hand. And that’s when I realised the truth about my life: I was a bully.

“But as the Man came closer, I could see compassion and love in His eyes, and it was then that I realised who it was—Jesus. I saw the hammer nailing his hands to the wood—hands that had touched lepers and blind eyes, that had raised the dead to life.”

Kevin says that when he saw the cross with Jesus on it thrust into the hole, he realised Jesus was the Saviour of the world. He says he felt a huge knot in his stomach disappear. “As I saw the cross sink down into the hole, the light hit me. I had this overwhelming sense that here was The Answer, and I surrendered.”

Struck dumb with emotion, all toughie Kevin could do was cry. He said he wanted to know more: Whose hand was it that reached out—Was it mine? he wondered. Thoughts coursed through his mind: Why did they want to do that to Him? What did it all mean? How could I follow Him?

A new day had dawned for Kevin. “After that, my life changed. I stopped drinking, smoking, dealing and bullying—the whole lot went.” Then, housebound one day, having lost his job, he picked up a Bible and turned to the story of Jesus’ life and death.

“When I started reading the Gospels, everything I’d seen in that vision came to life. The words became pictures. I started to realise the meaning of Christianity was to love God and humankind.

“One day while I was praying, I saw the picture again, except this time I saw my head on His head and my face on His. Then I realised it should have been me on the cross and not Him. Now I understand the reality of the cross.”

Because of his violent background, Kevin is convinced God used the only way He could to reach him, revealing the bullying and torture that His Son endured to prove how much He loved him. God’s Son took and healed his shame, replacing it with forgiveness and the power to love!

“His voice was saying to me, ‘Join my church and follow the Way.’ When eventually I walked into a church, I felt like God put His arms around me, I felt protected.”

As God’s love broke through, Kevin says he felt “as high as a kite.” With his “love tank” full, he would go out on the streets and talk to at-risk kids, eventually finding employment as acting NSW Drug Arm manager.

These days Kevin works as a minister, where, he says, “If I can help my brother by loving him, I’m doing the work of Jesus.”
Opening up to God’s love can transform even a neo-Nazi Dachau Disciple enforcer, a bully no more.

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