Stay in Touch
At some time, everyone searches for purpose in his or her life. Often our sense of purpose revolves around the relationships we form with others. Relationships with friends and family provide fulfilment. In many ways, our relationships directly affect our wellbeing.
Strong, positive relationships help us cope with stress and change. They provide the social support often necessary to implement behaviour change. For example, who wants to exercise alone? Relationships give us a chance to unload—to debrief—and to feel supported and worthwhile. In these ways relationships affect all aspects of our wellbeing as well as our resilience to the problems life invariably throws our way.
importance of self-value
Our self-value impacts strongly on our relationships. The way we relate to ourselves can have an encouraging or a damaging effect on the relationships we form with those around us.
A positive self-value enables us to care for our own needs. It gives us the confidence to say no to factors that will negatively influence our wellbeing, such as extensive demands on our time, excessive extra work or something as dangerous as illicit drugs. A positive self-view gives us the confidence to manage our lives and to establish a balance. And not only this, it also helps us to feel good about others.
If we can like ourselves in spite of our imperfections, then we acknowledge that others deserve to be appreciated with their faults also. Such an attitude contributes to our ability to form healthy relationships. We interact with others every day, so if we can make these interactions positive, it will lead to a happier, healthier life.
connectedness
Family. A sense of security and belonging is important to us all. While not everyone is a parent, everyone is part of a family. Our intimate and extended family can provide the support needed in today’s hectic lifestyle. And in turn we can support our families.
Social. Interaction, especially social interaction, is an integral part of life. We’re designed to be social creatures and we feel a loss when deprived of interaction. Our social relationships provide us with a buffer against the world. Friends can support us through trials and join with us to solve problems by providing perspective. They support us for who we are, not who we think we should be. Friends provide many opportunities to relax, unwind and de-stress.
So simple, and yet so necessary. We need to make time for our friends, especially when we’re busy: that’s when we will need them the most.
Community. How often we get annoyed by telemarketing phone calls, or conversely, remember the action of someone who waited to let us pass through a door in the shopping centre. As we continue to live in a community environment, we can’t avoid interacting with those around us.
Other people constantly impact our lives and, in turn, our actions impact others. Often, the positive interactions we make each day within our own community can make a difference in someone else’s life.
enriching relationships
A few simple skills can help us to enrich our relationships with others. Often, when we get busy, it is the social interactions we simply don’t have time for. We need to make sure that no matter our schedule, we are making time for people, both family and friends. Spending time is essential to forming worthwhile relationships.
It is also important to be open to meeting new people, to resolve conflicts, and to develop a positive view of others. We need to avoid dwelling on just the negative aspects of others; we all have good and bad points.
Of course, you can’t build relationships without communicating. Our ability to communicate with others enables us to portray our feelings, wishes and emotions more clearly. It also helps to validate others, and can prevent misunderstandings, thereby encouraging relationships to develop.
the void in society
Issues such as suicide, relationship breakdown and addiction reflect a void in today’s society. People are no longer being nurtured by society, and their sense of belonging is decreasing.
The change in society seems to stem from a lack of connected-ness and values, and an unfulfilled need for belonging. Interestingly enough, each of these factors has traditionally been provided by churches, and in many families and communities, they still are. In addition, the belief in a power outside of ourselves—one that has our welfare at heart—gives us a sense of hope that forms a protective barrier for many aspects of mental health. Durkheimian Bjornson writes, “Religious communities give members a sense of certainty and purpose in living and a meaningful and guided experience. . . . The moral constraints of religious communities regulate and constrain behaviour in ways that facilitate good physical health, positive family and interpersonal relations, ethical work conduct and financial dealings and inhibits stress” (“Framework of Adolescent Anomie,” in Scientific Study of Religion, 1999; 37:742-754).
Relationships are an integral part of physical and emotional wellbeing. We need to ensure that we make time in our lives for positive relationships on a personal, family, social, community and spiritual level.
Taking Charge of Your Health programs are happening right around the
country. For more information or to find out where to register, check the Taking Charge of Your Health web site: www.takingcharge.com.au/health
A Taking Charge of Your Health
four-volume DVD set is available
from Adventist Book Centres (ABC) for $A54.95 ($NZ65.95). For information about your nearest ABC, check out: www.adventistbookcentre.com
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