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Signs of the Times Australia / NZ edition — lifestyle, health, relationships, culture, spirituality, people — published since 1886

Self-conscious Woes

Q: I’m 78 years old and been self-conscious all my life. I feel uncomfortable in front of people. Every year I’m called on to make a speech at my RSL club. My hands go clammy and my mouth dry, yet I feel obliged to do my bit even though I have to force myself. What can I do to change this, or am I too old?

A: No-one is ever too old to learn something new or to make a change in their lives! If you would like to change this aspect of your life and if you are motivated to work with someone on this problem, I am sure that a psychologist or a counsellor, qualified to work with anxiety disorders, will be able to help you.
Many people suffer from anxiety disorder, so your problem—it sounds like a form of social phobia—isn’t uncommon.
University psychology clinics and private clinics sometimes run groups for people with social phobia. Joining a group like this probably sounds like just the thing you do not want to do and yet it is one of the best things you could do to master this problem. If you remember that everyone in the group is most likely just as shy as yourself, or perhaps even shyer, it will help you to cope.
I encourage you to find a psychologist, counsellor or group as soon as possible. Just imagine how wonderful it will be next year when you stand in front of your friends and actually enjoy speaking to them.
It can be done. No-one is ever too old to change.

 

 

a reader writes . . .
I was thrilled to read the question by “24-year-old, married for three years” in a recent issue. I’m not a counsellor, but have seen several couples helped by reading together the books The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, and His Needs, Her Needs, by Willard Harley. Happiness Homemade, by Ellen White, also contains excellent advice for family life. The well-known Dr James Dobson has also written many good books for husbands and wives, and the home.
I will pray for this couple that they can break the cycle of broken marriage in their family.—Margaret M

Dear M . . .
Thank you for your suggestions and prayers for this couple. It is true, the heartfelt prayer of a godly person can accomplish a huge amount.—Deanna

Extract from Signs of the Times, July 2004.

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