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The Spirit of Giving

Giving shouldn’t be limited to a day or season, but it’s the right gift that counts, says Victor Parachin.

One summer a family provided work for a transient, even though they suspected he had a problem with alcohol. He spent the summer working for them, and with the arrival of autumn, abruptly left.
That Christmas, a greeting card arrived from him. There was no message, just a signature. The postmark indicated the man was some hundreds of kilometres away. Then, in the spring, the man came to see the family.
“I’ve stopped drinking, “he explained. “I’m now going to get a permanent job.”

After the family thanked him for his Christmas card, he explained it was the only card he’d sent that year. “I wanted it to say ‘Thank you’—but not for the work; rather, for the respect you gave me. It was that that helped me to begin a new life.”
Gifts come in many forms. The most common arrive on special days and are colourfully wrapped. However, the most exquisite are gifts of the spirit, like the one given the transient. And, unlike material gifts that can wear out, go out of style or simply be set aside and forgotten, gifts of the spirit have a transforming power and linger long. They soften callused hearts, restore broken dreams, renew long-abandoned hope, and infuse life with vitality.
Here are just some such gifts that you might share:

Kindness. Offering the gift of kindness reminds people there are still good things in store for them—a “hope and a future,” as is promised in the Bible (Jeremiah 29:11).

Mary Santell tells of a Valentine’s Day when her mother died following a two-year battle with cancer.

“Mum had been my rock—always there for me, especially after I was divorced and raising two sons on my own,” she says. Shortly after the funeral, Santell’s friends from work remembered that before her mother became sick, Santell had talked about redecorating her own living room. So, they asked her to visit a store and choose a paint colour and wallpaper.
“We’ll buy it and do all the work,” they explained.

True to their word, early one Sunday morning, Santell’s friends and their families came over, spending the day painting and putting up wallpaper. “Every time I’m in my living room, I feel the love that’s all around me still,” she says.

Prayer. Make a personal commitment to be the person who gives away the gift of prayer many, many times. This is a majestic gift, one that can be given anytime, anywhere, for anyone.

Is someone you know grieving? Then pray, asking God to deliver comfort. Is someone you know, saddened? Pray, asking God to restore joy. Is someone you know sick? Then pray, asking God to heal. Is someone you know unemployed? Then pray, asking God to open doors. Is someone you know separating or divorcing? Then pray, asking God to provide emotional stability, maturity and wisdom. Is someone you know burdened? Then pray, asking God to lift the burden and empower the individual to be renewed.

The apostle Paul reminds us to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. . . . Keep on praying . . .” (Ephesians 6:18).
Prayer is a simple but powerful gift, one that you can give to those who are close to you as well as to strangers.

Togetherness. This gift of time together sends this message: “You are important to me. I want to be with you.” Try this simple exercise sometime, and ask yourself:
When was the last time I changed my routine just to be with someone?
When was the last time I did “nothing” with someone I love?
When was the last time I spent carefree hours with someone I value?
Make togetherness a high priority in your life.

Consider this lesson, shared with me by a regretful father.
“I used to work a lot of hours, sometimes doing two jobs just to have that ‘extra cash.’ It seemed important to make sure my kids had the best clothes and toys and went to the best schools. Myself, I wanted to drive a nicer car and have a nicer house. There would always be ‘tomorrow’ for a weekend away or play in the park. Now, there’s no ‘tomorrow.’ My son died last year. He was 14.

“I’d live in a cardboard box for the rest of my life to be able to go to a football game or a concert with him. I’d take the bus, if it meant we could hit golf balls in the backyard again.”
That father’s experience is a strong reminder that offering the gift of togetherness indicates you’ve not lost sight of what’s important and what you’re working for in the first place.
Make time to be with those whom you love and value. “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity” (Ephesians 5:15, 16).

Hope. When a person deeply feels the pain of failure, disappointment, loss and is despondent, do whatever you can to reignite hope. Hope is an emotional heart stimulant, the antidote to despair. The gift of hope activates the will to keep inching forward to the place where the darkness gives way to the light. With hope, a person can survive anything.

At a low point in his fife, someone offered the gift of hope to Vietnamese cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan, one of the few Asian Catholics to hold a Vatican post. He was regarded as a man of simple faith who suffered greatly for his beliefs.

The cardinal spent some 13 years in prison—eight in solitary confinement—and under house arrest in his homeland after the Communists came to power in 1975. During his imprisonment, Nguyen continued to live by faith. He even taught one of his Communist jailers the ancient hymn Veni, Creator Spiritus.

One day when Nguyen had fallen into a deep depression, this same jailer, wanting to lift the Cardinal’s spirits, sang it for him. Upon hearing his guard singing, Nguyen’s spirits soared with hope and he was able to endure his confinement, his spirit unbroken.

Encouragement. Train yourself to immediately identify those who are struggling because of a major failure or setback. When people are in a hard place from where it is almost impossible to recover even an ounce of optimism, be there to step in with words of encouragement. A few words—the gift of of encouragement—carefully chosen, can make the difference between giving up and going on.

That’s why the Bible says: “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).

Consider what happened to a young woman who had spent nearly a year auditioning for various roles, all to no avail. She was about ready to quit her seemingly endless and futile search when she received a letter from a high school friend.

“Try to remember all the times in the past that you failed,” she wrote. “You fell down the first time you tried to walk; you fell off your bike the first time you tried to ride; you sank when you first tried to swim; you fell off your skis on your first time on the slope. Yet, today you walk, ride, swim and ski very well. Keep trying. You’ll make it. I believe in you!”
The note had its effect, and she persevered, going on to secure roles.

blessed givers
Perhaps the most wonderful fact about giving gifts of the spirit is this: the joy we give is the joy that returns to us. It’s by giving that we receive. In Pilgrim’s Progress Paul Bunyan astutely records: “A man there was, though some did count him mad/ The more he cast away, the more he had.” He was exactly right, for that’s the nature of things when you’re giving gifts of the spirit.

 

This is an extract from
March 2004


Signs of the Times Magazine
Australia New Zealand edition.


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