Marcel's Mum and Dad
How do you teach children to appreciate racial differences? Angela Dion,* a parent in a bi-racial household, suggests where you might
begin.
Dad, that lady’s black. She can’t be Marcel’s mum!” Because she’d met my Caucasian husband previously, six-year-old Rachael thought it extraordinary that I could be Marcel’s mother.
Her apologetic father wasn’t sure how to explain gracefully that Marcel is bi-racial, and my son, confused by the remark from his new friend, looked to me for encouragement.
If the issue of race hasn’t already surfaced in your home, it is likely that it will. And when it does, here are a few suggestions to prepare you for teaching your children godly rather than prejudiced or even bigoted responses to race differences.
check your own heart
Ask, “Am I prejudiced?” I’m surely not, I thought. After all, I’m in a biracial marriage. I rebuffed racism whenever I heard it. But 1 John 1:8 tells me, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves,” and Romans 2:1 says, “At whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.”
Growing up, I often heard my father voice mistrust of anyone who wasn’t black, but as an adult, I believed I’d left his world view behind. Than I asked the Holy Spirit to uncover the truth in my heart.
I remembered jokes I’d laughed at (even some I’d told), comments I’d listened to and made, and opinions sometimes voiced in the “right” company. Now it was time for me to confess and repent.
Only after we honestly acknowledge our prejudices can God allow us to make changes (1 John 1:9) and create godly examples for our children.
look at your life
Perhaps little Rachael wouldn’t have been surprised that Marcel had a black mother and white father if she’d already been exposed to different cultures. Look at your own neighbourhoods, friends and churches. You may discover that you’ve comfortably—and voluntarily—segregated yourself.
Keep in mind that Jesus deliberately moved toward people who were different. He met with Samaritans (John 4:7) and lepers (Matthew 8:2 4)—society’s outcasts. We all have the same two parents—Adam and Eve—and the same heavenly Parent. Of course, no race or group is better than another. We’re His children, all of us. Exposing our kids to people who are different from themselves is a first step in enabling them to appreciate race differences.
listen to your own talk
As the parent of a bi-racial child, I know firsthand how delicate the issue of race can be. I made the mistake of telling Marcel to ignore racial and cultural differences, asserting that everyone is the same.
While this is true (for the most part) in our home and in the Christian community, wider exposure showed him that others will see and prejudge his differences. When racist hate mail was distributed throughout our neighbourhood, I could no longer deny that my answers to his questions were inadequate. I had to show him godly responses to racism. Now when we hear a racist comment, we discuss it openly. We talk about racism in our family devotions. We role-play how he can use questions about his race as an opportunity to share what he believes.
If we are comfortable answering questions, pointing out how others may react, and using the Bible to pattern our responses, it will encourage our children to be comfortable as well.
Prejudice, racism and segregation are not options within the body of Christ. We are all one family, serving one Lord, following one Christ.
Essentially, this is what I told Rachael. I pointed her to the Father who is not a respecter of race, but of heart. By increasing our children’s knowledge—and our own—we can make a difference. We can change the world by showing our kids how to appreciate the variety of people God has created for us to love.
Romans 15:5-7 sums up how we should treat people who are different from us: “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
Reprinted, with permission, from Women of Spirit.
*Angela Dion is author of Dear Son: Letters From a Birth Mother <www.publishedauthors.net/AngelaDion>.
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