 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
||
Signs of the Times Australia / NZ edition — lifestyle, health, relationships, culture, spirituality, people — published since 1886 |
||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||
Signs of the Times Australia / NZ edition — lifestyle, health, relationships, culture, spirituality, people — published since 1886 |
||||||||||
Q: After an argument with my mother a few weeks ago, I grew so angry I put my fist through a window, cutting tendons in my finger. My doctor has recommended I seek help with anger management. I am 18 years old. What is “anger management” and how would it help?
A: Anger carries with it enormous costs. It can be the source of guilt and regret. It can cause rifts in relationships and affect your health. Anger is damaging to your body—you are more likely to die younger than those who have learned to control it.
Anger is useful when it alerts you that your boundaries are being violated. In these cases it mobilises your physical and emotional resources so you can escape or maintain appropriate limits.
It isn’t true that anger can’t be controlled, that frustration necessarily leads to aggression or that it’s healthy to vent your feelings.
Anger must be controlled in order to live in harmony with yourself and others.
You have a choice, in every situation, to get angry or not. By exercising your choice, you will find anger is but one option and there are alternatives. It’s often helpful to take a short time-out when you feel yourself getting angry, mentally taking a step back to see what’s happening. Will anger solve the problem? Anger is a response to stress, but frustration doesn’t have to be expressed in aggression or hostility. There are many other ways of dealing with stress, and this is what anger management will help you see. Dealing with the stress, which is probably causing you to be frustrated and angry, is a better way to handle your life than getting angry.
Exercise is a healthy alternative to losing your temper. Learning how to relax may be important. Taking time out from the situation or talking about the issues is likely to be more productive in the long run. Focusing on how to solve the problem is certainly going to be more helpful than getting angry.
Some people think it’s healthy to express all feelings and that is somewhat true. Anger often masks deeper emotions, such as fear of rejection or abandonment, sadness or a sense of loss. These are the emotions that need to be identified and expressed, rather than anger.
Learning how to deal with anger now, while you are young, is going to be useful for the rest of your life.
Extract from Signs of the Times, January / February 2007.
Home - Archive - Topics - Podcast - Subscribe - Special Offers - About Signs - Contact Us - Links
Copyright © 2006 Seventh-day Adventist Church (SPD) Limited ACN 093 117 689
Unassociated
advertisement:
This article comes from a
regular column in
Signs
of the Times.
Questions to Deanna should be addressed to: Lifeguide, Signs of the Times, 3485 Warburton Highway, Warburton Victoria 3799, Australia